Thursday, September 13, 2007

Too Much Rod Benson

I'll be honest. I've never seen Rod Benson play. Rod is an NBA hopeful who played at Cal. I think he's a center or power forward or something.

But the important thing is, Rod Benson has a sweet blog. Paul Shirley goes down as one of my favorite NBA bloggers of all time, but Rod's blog is pretty sweet too. I don't know why, but I love the writings of guys trying to make it into the NBA. I mean, Gilbert Arenas' blog is good too, but he's one of the best players in the game, so day-to-day life for him is a bit different. Rod Benson also writes over at Draft Express:
I got in the day before the camp started and was the last person to fill out paper work and get a physical. As I have stated many times before, I hate doing the "grab my balls" test, so I was pretty happy to see that guys were getting their physicals done in the open area of the trainer’s room, eliminating the possibility of such a check. As it turns out, those guys were returning players so they didn't need to get re-checked. I was promptly walked to the back room where the doctor, while doing the balls test, began to tell me why they do the test. He told me the story about how Lance Armstrong, while doing this very test, was found to have testicular cancer. Because of that, it's becoming a much more widely used test, even on younger athletes like myself. He told me that I could even give myself the test. To quote him: "nobody knows your balls like you." It was then that I realized he had been talking for like a minute and a half telling me all these stories, and his fingers were still on my balls! We both must have lost track of time.

Another day I spent mostly napping so I was very awake late at night. We ended up going to Wal-Mart at 3am (completely sober) with no intention of buying anything. Wal-Mart supercenters are just so coddamn big. There’s plenty to do in there without needing to buy anything. Well after an hour and a half in the store, I finally got back home at 5am. I did end up buying one thing that night... a paintball gun that was on sale for $18.

The paintball gun would come in handy the next day as my friend and I found ourselves drinking wine and shooting paintballs at my Guitar Hero II box. This literally continued for hours until it was time to head out to the bar.
I tell you what, Sunday night couldnt come fast enough. Game time was finally upon us. If nothing else, we had an excuse to leave the house. In all seriousness, this was probably the biggest game I’ve been a part of in a long time. You only get so many chances to win a championship. The game was intense the whole way. We were up, we were down, we battled and battled. It was funny because half way through the 4th quarter, Pooh Jeter got hot. He made some big shots and started to get real emotional. He starts yelling out: “Put me in your blog! Put this in your blog!” I laughed but it kind of bothered me because it looked like we were going to lose. With a few seconds left, Pooh got fouled and had a chance to put his team up 3 and essentially close us out. As the second free throw went in, he repeated the whole “Put this in your blog!” thing. We are friends, but at that moment I wanted to throw his little ass in a coddamn trash compactor I was so mad. Well, as it turns out, my man Darius Rice hit a 3 to send to game to overtime. Guy has 10 threes already and they leave him open with the clock running down. In overtime, after I scored to put us up by 6, then blocked Pooh’s layup on the other end, he was complaining to the refs about a foul call he wanted. I walk right up to him and say “THIS is going on the coddamn blog!” He was so angry, he started yelling out any and everything about the blog, but it didnt matter. We won the championship. We did the chicken noodle soup dance at half court in celebration. We, the Dakota Wizards, cut down the nets, not the Colorado 14ers. Pooh, if you’re reading this.... HHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA. You’re my man, but hey, you’re in the blog like you asked! So, how was it after the game? DId you sit there in your locker room and hear our celebration? Did you see me chicken noodle soup with the trophy in my hand? No? Could you hear our fans rejoice as we cut down the nets? It was pretty awesome son. It was like we went to the same party, but I left with your girl and took her back to your house where you had to listen to us all night. You did play hard though, that was good. No ifs ands or buts, Pooh you had GUTS! See you at summer league.

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