Weird poll

I just got a phone call for a "quick survey"...apparently this is being done by the Republican party here in MN (didn't know this until after the survey, but would've taken it anyway). It was simple, but VERY lacking in the "straightforward" category. Results from this poll are bound to be distorted, check it out:

First question: do you identify more strongly with the Democratic party or the Republican party? I asked if these were the only options, and was informed that this was the case. Guess I'm a Democrat. Drat. I fall for the old "false binary" gag...oldest trick in the book. Pollsters 1, Anton 0.

Second question: Do you support the 2nd amendment, the right to bear arms, or do you favor increased controls on guns? Well, I'm all in favor of the second amendment and everything, but I also know that more needs to be done to keep guns out of the hands of youth. I'm not doing it justice here, but the question was worded in such a manner that the "real" danger was that somehow the democrats were going to make it harder to get guns. Those bastards! I went with "I support the 2nd Amendment", as opposed to "Increased Government Control". Another great example of a false binary...there's no POSSIBLE WAY those two could ever co-exist, right? I think I answered this question correctly though: Pollsters 1, Anton 1.

Third question: Would you support the right of Minnesota citizens to amend the constitution to make marriage between one man and one woman? WOW. That's an awesomely loaded question. It was worded so precisely, I asked him to repeat it, just so I could hear it again. I'm only three questions into this poll and I can't tell if I'm about to start laughing or if my head is going to explode.

Okay, I clearly support the right of citizens to amend the constitution. That makes sense, right? We live here, dammit, and we're a democracy! But nothing is as it appears in pollster-land. I thought carefully about how my answer would be construed, and decided to say "no, I do not support that right". But...what was the question again? Do I support the right of MN citizens to amend the constitution to make marriage between one man and one woman? So basically, if I say that citizens deserve to amend the constitution, it's going to look like I'll support an initiative to outlaw gay marriage. You guys are sneaky as shit, and you know it. Pollsters 2, Anton 1.

Last question was an abortion question. I was surprised at the lack of Iraq on the poll, but I suppose that topic just pisses people off. But it would be a great addition to their little underhanded poll...my favorite was reading somewhere (regarding another poll)...it was about how the Democrats were going to "cut funding" for the war, which people seem to think would mean "oh, they'll leave our troops there, but they don't get any more bullets" or some such nonsense. People hate the Democrats if they are going to "cut funding for the war", but are supportive if they are going to bring home our troops. wtf

This last question was to gauge the willingness to compromise on the abortion situation. The four options were: abortion always legal, abortion always illegal, abortion legal during the first three months, and abortion only legal during instances of rape, incest, or where the mother's life is in danger. The wording push was towards the two "moderate" options, and never one to get pushed around, I selected "abortion always legal". I was just fed up with the poll at this point, and just wanted to get off the damn phone with these yahoos. Pollsters win with a final score of 3-1. They got what they wanted, I think...