Monday, March 13, 2006

How to win your office pool

Yep, it's that time of year again, when it's our patriotic duty as citizens to break the damn law and participate in the company office pool. And you hate how that bastard Ted from Marketing seems to win it every year. Not only are you out five bucks, but then you have to listen to him brag about it whilst he devours his caviar-and-steak victory lunch. There's no struggle but the class struggle, so that's why I'm bringing you this special installment in blogology - how to win your office NCAA tourney pool extravaganza.

Okay, for your first round, don't get TOO crazy with the upsets. The top five seeds in every bracket will win their games and if they don't, you can't be too pissed because everyone else is in the same boat as you. If you're REALLY feeling like calling an upset at a high seed, consider the UW-Milwaukee (11) v. OK (6) game. But you can afford to go a little crazy with the 7-10 and 8-9 seeded matchups. The most interesting game will be UAB v. Kentucky - UAB knocked out Kentucky when they were a #1 seed last year, so UK is plenty pissed about it and will probably stomp them like a monster truck onto a '77 Impala.

Okay, so the first round is filled out? Great. Here's some more information to help you make those difficult future decisions. First of all, a few teams are seeded too high (Iowa, Tennessee, UCLA to name a few). This doesn't mean that they'll lose right away, but perhaps won't make it as long in the tourney as some would hope.

Okay, second round: no predictable #1 seed upsets. Darn. The only high-ranked teams that might lose are Tenn and UCLA, but their second-round competition is frail like a malnourished puppy. One matchup I like is West Virgina over Iowa. Iowa can play defense, but can't hit a shot, while WVU has a guy named Pittsnogle. It's fun to say: PITTSNOGLE!! Kinda like Beetlejuice. Advantage: West Virginia.

MSU and North Carolina should be a good matchup too, as NC's frosh center (Hansborough) has been tearing it up, and MSU has a pretty good senior center in Davis. Also, I'd go out on a limb and predict that whichever team wins this game will beat Tennessee.

Syracuse is also hot after winning their champeenship, and I expect them to beat LSU and also give Duke a run for its money. The second-round Pitt-Kansas game could also go either way, and I think that Pitt will actually beat them.

Anyway, that's all the insight I can share at the moment. Perhaps tonight I'll do a bit more in-depth research and give you my final analysis before the tourney begins. Feel free to email me with your specific questions. Oh, and before I forget, here's my End User License Agreement (EULA), Microsoft-style: By reading this sentence, you agree to pay 15 percent of all tournament winnings to Anton.

Also, it's freakin' snowing out. Not cool. At all. This is why I pay a premium at my residence for a fireplace, though!

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