I have not played a meaningful minute since I re-joined the Suns in January. My role on this team, with regard to games, is to cheer at the end of the bench, give encouragement to my teammates as they leave the floor during one of the 74 timeouts in an NBA game, and stay prepared enough to play should catastrophe or blowout befall my team. I do not however, play when it counts. I am still trying to wrap my brain around this concept as it is a new role for me. Contrary to popular belief, I am not actually retarded, and can occasionally make a coherent basketball play. This is the first time since, well, ever that I have not been asked to play in parts of the game that will directly influence whether some little kid that is a fan of my team goes to bed with a smile or a whine. A reporter recently asked me if wins were as sweet, and losses as sorrowful because of my stunted participation (his question, actually, was nowhere near so poetic—it’s easier to make things sound good when a backspace key is available). I was impressed by its direct nature. I don’t think he was trying to stir up controversy; he seemed truly curious. Of course, I suppose that is his job. I might have dodged a bullet when I chose a more thoughtful answer over, “Man, this is some [bovine excrement]. I can’t believe I ain’t playin’. I mean, what is coach thinkin’, man? All’s I need is a chance.” Whew.And I know some of you kids are Bright Eyes fans - you know that you can download a bunch of tracks from the Saddle Creek website? I guess there's a new one that rips on the president something fierce (I haven't heard it yet because it's only on the cursed iTunes Music Store).
Oh, and if you haven't heard, the second banana on the Daily Show is getting his own show to follow it:
The Colbert Report, which will satirize current affairs shows and poke fun at media figures like Bill O'Reilly and Anderson Cooper, will likely start in September, said U.S. network Comedy Central. One segment – to be entitled "Worthy Opponent" – will feature Colbert debating against himself.
"It's as if my character on The Daily Show got promoted," Colbert told the Associated Press, describing his on-air persona as a "very well-intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot, not unlike some people who have these shows in the real world."